My hope

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Oh I don't know what to do these days. So much on my mind, and no way to organize it all.

I'm on edge lately. Easily annoyed. People. What more needs said. People annoy me. So arogant, immature, ignorant, I could go on...but I don't want to annoy myself.

People do such stupid things. Why do people do such stupid things?? I mean really, have people stopped using their heads before they speak or act? Ugh.

I need to rant. I just feel like I have all this pent up frustration at people that I want to just scream at the top of my lungs and ask "what is wrong with you?!?!" But then I would be worried about what people thought about my lashing out, and why do I care? I don't know...but I do. So I rant in silence.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Ok, I feel better now. :)

Not as good as I would like to feel, but better nonetheless. I hate feeling judgmental, and that's how I'm feeling right now. Everyone I look at, I judge in some way. Maybe this is some weird way of dealing the myself. I know I'm being judged by some people...every day people think they know me, all about me, and run their mouth about me and how I live and what I do or don't do...or what they think they know. I let this bother me. I don't know how not to let it bother me. I don't know how to handle being judged, so I judge. Not intentionally, but intentions don't matter.

I hate judging. Sometimes I do it without realizing it. Sometimes it makes me feel good. Until I reflect on my thoughts....boo.

Damn conscience.

I annoy myself. Like right now. My thoughts are all over the place. I don't like that. I feel...scattered...enclosed...confused...like I'm running in circles with myself.

That's it!! I'm stuck in a cirlce...just going round and round and round with the same old issues with myself and other people. I need to figure out how to straighten out that circle. hmmm...

I'm rambling. Again. A wise woman once told me to ramble away, cause it's good to ramble from time to time. She knows who she is. :) I appreciate her everytime I blog. She is a great friend.

I will close now...though I don't feel like I released much. I have so much, and it's so complex, I'm having trouble releasing it...putting it into words. Maybe another night it will come to me more clearly. Until then....

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